Down the time lane, every breath was heavy; each smile had a painful story, every cry was much more than tears; feet walked but hands went numb time and again. And it struck me hard how I walked away, or rather how I escaped and how each muscle twitched so badly.
It was midnight and I stood on the terrace; reminiscent; sobbing. It had been long since I have been escaping but now I had realized that all I needed was to stop somwhere, take a deep breath, remember the past and then move on. But this time I wanted to just move on; not escape.
Life had been a hell until now when I’ve found the way up to the heaven; until I was taken aback with the enormity of the serenity, I had long been searching for out everywhere but still devoid of; until I realized that I had been escaping from and for what I had within me; until I realized that life is more than what it had been till now.
Gazing at the stars and the shimmering city lights, these words again made their presence in my mind. And I thought when it was last that I had a self talk and spent some time with myself. Unfortunately, I couldn’t. And how could I have, when I never have had such an act. Perhaps in schooldays, I must have had this, but now, I really dont remember.
‘Live your life, love your life’. I used to read this and read this many a times but never had I understood what it really meant and how could people love their life. Pretty sure, I must haven’t because I was so much far to be able to understand what it could have meant and what it would mean for me.
Life isn’t meaningless as it had been till now. Life has its meaning. And heaven and hell is in life, not death. Find it in those small things you have been ignoring so far. Life is worth living in that cold breeze; life is cheerful in that rustling sound of leaves; life is serene in that riverside walk; life is awesome when you lay on the sand on the beach at the sunset till twilight; life is hopeful in the mist and fog on the the hills- therein lies that heaven that I had been searching for. I had finally found the way up to the heaven. I had experienced it and still the thirst isn’t quenched. ‘Run, leap and celebrate for you are alive today’. Now I am alive for as yet I had been surviving.
These words have now made a room in my head. I smiled, I grinned, I laughed terribly, I jumped, I danced and finally, opened my arms wide with eyes closed and face up in the sky, I took deep breaths with immense satisfaction that I had found a meaning to life or rather I had found life.