The Dawn at the Night

 

I lay on my bed trying to sleep. Though I had been on foot all day, yet at this point in time, it was quite impossible. Was it exhaustion that didn’t let me rest? Indeed, sometimes when you are exhausted even sleeping becomes difficult. No, it wasn’t exhaustion that took away my sleep, but I realized it was something else. But what?

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How could it be exhaustion when after not even half of my journey, I went numb; numb in the lower half of my body! I tried hard lifting my legs and moving forward but my legs refused. I even tried running back to the initial stage to start it all over again maybe with some good assistance, for now, I started understanding things better than when I started. I wondered why I was stuck there. It were only my hands that moved. They haphazardly moved in the air, brandishing like a novice swordsman, craving for help. But that turned to be a completely vain attempt. At that point in, time how could anyone even help when I had already begun it and no one stood by me in real when everybody seemed to be. I started alone and I had to end it all alone. Stuck at that crucial stage, when running back could be the stupidest decision of all and reaching the end wasn’t my cup of tea, rather than looking for a solution, I kept on searching the reason. Perhaps, it had been my reasoning habit that I ended being stuck here or it might be that had I reasoned properly, I would have been on a different path. Yet I kept on figuring out the cause. Why am I stuck here? Was it the wrong path that I took or the end that gets diminished with every step? Was it the refusal to follow my heart or the fear of getting lost on the path that quite a few trajected? Was it hearsay that I followed or the call of my soul I refused? Was it me or someone else?
It was difficult to figure this out.

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The easier it was to get into it, the more difficult is it to find a way out! Within quite a time I could tell what were the reasons! Perhaps I had always known it but was just refusing to accept. Knowing and accepting are two different things. They are the two ends. The phase between them is a long struggle. But since now I know, I can easily get out of it. No! Things are not easy as they seem to be. Though my numbness had gone easier than before, I could move now. Yes, I was right, figuring it out was certainly going to help. I now knew that it was the end getting diminished with every wong step that I took on that cursed path; it was my refusal to follow my heart for I feared getting lost; it was so that I ignored my soul’s warnings; surely, it was me but none other! Indeed knowing it helped me take my steps. But there seemed no way to get my destiny switching over from this to where I actually wanted it to be. I had to but move straight. Although terribly excited, I chose to be patient so as not to mess it up all again. I felt like giving off some new sparks ’cause I would now be entering a new phase in my life. Yet I kept it all inside because accomplishing the core deed was left, that is, finding a path. After some time, I rather reached my bed trying to sleep yet carrying on my deed do find a path that would lead me where I aspire to be! For I knew, merely getting sensations back was not going to help. But…

“When you know what you want to be, when you are clear in your dreams, when you hope to find a way to achieve it, when you know your passion, when you know that you can do it, when you know how to overcome your fears, none can stop you from changing your destiny. You become the sole writer of your destiny; you define your own paths; you define your destination and stops! And it’s never too late being that pursuer; being that writer!”

I had found a way! I had now realized with this thought pertaining in my mind that I had to define that path on my own. There is no set path for it, and I am going to be the sole writer of my destiny which is now going to change! I’ll be the one who’ll help me out! I was glad about it. It seemed as if a strange positive aura of bright light and frequencies of sounds had surrounded me giving me a sign as to that I had now known what would help me get to it; a sign of me discovering what life actually wanted me to discover! A sign of completion!

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The excitement didn’t let me rest for a minute. Being on foot all day, I now let my mind walk around and move forward, making plans and all that stuff! I was now leaving the road on which many left their impressions and many moved along yet nobody could even help, to a road which stays deserted yet full of all the joy and utter excitement; a road which won’t make me repent again; a road on which I could leave my footsteps at and look back again proudly; a road that would let me maintain work-life balance; a road that would at the end let me rest in peace!

I eagerly wait for nature’s new dawn, though, one had already happened at night, in the wee hours, in my life with this new feeling of completion and attainment and the excitement to start afresh!

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